Help! I’m New (Part 3): Know the Size of the Ship Before Turning the Wheel

At this point, you’ve done some observing. You’ve met people. You’ve seen what works and what doesn’t.

And now the question is unavoidable:

“When can I start making changes?”

The honest answer is: it depends.

Not on your passion. Not on your ideas. Not even on how broken things feel.

It depends on the size of the ship you’re steering.

Why Good Leaders Still Get This Wrong

One of the biggest mistakes new family ministry leaders make is assuming that:

“If something needs to change, changing it quickly proves leadership.”

That sounds right but it’s incomplete.

The real issue isn’t what you change.It’s how fast the culture can absorb it.

I’ve watched gifted, called, passionate leaders lose trust -not because their ideas were bad, but because their timing was off.

Speedboats vs. Cargo Ships

Let me give you a picture.

If you’re driving a speedboat, you can turn the wheel hard and fast. It’s exhilarating. People expect movement.

But if you do that on a cargo ship?

People go flying. Things break. And suddenly the captain looks reckless, even if the destination was right.

Churches are the same way.

Some can pivot quickly. Others require long, gradual turns.

Your first job as a new leader is to figure out which one you’re on.

How Do You Know the Size of Your Ship?

Here are a few questions that tell you more than any org chart ever will:

• How long was the previous leader in place?

• How often has change happened before and how was it received?

• Do people talk nostalgically about “the old days”?

• How much emotional ownership do volunteers have?

• Does leadership embrace experimentation or avoid it?

A church with a 20-year leader is not a speedboat. A ministry that’s been restarted five times in ten years probably is.

Neither is better. But they require different leadership.

The Myth of “The Pastor Wants Change”

Here’s a trap I’ve seen repeatedly:

Your lead pastor tells you,

“Do whatever you think is best.”

That feels freeing. It’s also dangerous.

Because while your pastor may be ready for change, the people may not be.

And when people push back, guess who feels the pressure?

Not you.

Your pastor does.

So before you assume permission equals readiness, ask better questions:

• “How fast has change worked here before?”

• “Where do people get anxious?”

• “What’s untouchable -for now?”

Protecting your pastor protects your ministry.

Small Changes First. Always.

Here’s a principle I live by:

Make changes that improve people’s experience before you change their expectations.

Early wins should feel like relief, not disruption.

• Cleaner rooms

• Better communication

• Clearer schedules

• More encouragement for volunteers

These don’t feel like “change.” They feel like care.

Once people feel cared for, they’ll follow you further.

Never Call It “Change”

This might sound silly, but it matters.

I almost never say:

• “We’re changing this.”

• “We’re replacing that.”

• “This wasn’t working.”

Instead, I say:

• “We’re trying something.”

• “Let’s experiment.”

• “We’re learning together.”

Language lowers defenses.

People don’t resist improvement. They resist loss.

Turning the Wheel Takes Time

In one church I served, it took:

• 90 days to adjust small systems

• 6 months to reshape volunteer structure

• a full year before we reworked discipleship

Was it frustrating? Sometimes. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Because when the turn was complete, the people turned with me.

Here’s the Bottom Line

You don’t prove leadership by speed. You prove leadership by wisdom.

Your calling isn’t to impress people, it’s to shepherd them.

And shepherds don’t sprint the flock off a cliff.

What’s Coming Next

In the next post, we’re going to talk about the real currency of your first 90 days:

👉 Trust—how to build it, protect it, and avoid bankrupting it before you even realize you’re spending it.

If you’ve ever wondered why some leaders get grace and others get scrutinized, this one will explain everything.

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