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Help! I’m New (Part 4): The Trust Bank Every Leader Has (and Most Overdraw Too Fast)


If there’s one concept that will determine whether your first year in ministry is healthy or exhausting, it’s this:

Trust works like a bank account.

You are either making deposits…or withdrawals.

And whether you realize it or not, every interaction you have is doing one or the other.


Why Some Leaders Get Grace and Others Get Resistance

Have you ever noticed this?

Two leaders make the same decision. One is celebrated as courageous. The other is criticized as careless.

Same choice. Same outcome. Very different reactions.

The difference isn’t personality. It’s not gifting. It’s not even tenure.

It’s trust balance.


What Is the Trust Bank?

The Trust Bank is the relational equity you build with:

  • volunteers

  • parents

  • staff

  • key influencers

  • your pastor

Every positive interaction is a deposit. Every decision that affects others is a withdrawal.

When the balance is high, people give you grace. When the balance is low, people question your motives.

When the account is empty… everything feels like conflict.


The Most Common Rookie Mistake

New leaders tend to assume this:

“Because I was hired, I start with trust.”

That’s not true.

You may start with goodwill. You may start with hope. You may even start with excitement.

But trust is earned -relationally and consistently.

And here’s the danger:Some people will give you a line of credit early.

They’re optimistic. They want you to succeed. They assume the best.

That doesn’t mean the account is full. It just means they’re watching closely.


What Counts as a Deposit?

Deposits are usually simple and often overlooked.

Here are a few that matter more than you think:

  • Learning names quickly

  • Saying thank you (and meaning it)

  • Publicly honoring the past before shaping the future

  • Asking for input and actually listening

  • Showing up consistently

  • Celebrating small wins

  • Protecting volunteers from unnecessary pressure

  • Giving credit instead of taking it

None of these are flashy. All of them build trust.


What Counts as a Withdrawal?

Withdrawals don’t always feel negative to you -but they feel heavy to others.

Common withdrawals include:

  • Changing something people care about without explanation

  • Criticizing systems you don’t fully understand

  • Making decisions in isolation

  • Speaking too honestly too quickly

  • Moving faster than people can follow

  • Ignoring relational history

  • Using phrases like “we’ve always done it wrong”

Here’s the key insight:

Intent doesn’t determine impact.

You may mean well and still overdraft the account.


The Rule You Must Live By

This rule will save you:

Never make a major withdrawal before you’ve made consistent deposits.

That means:

  • Don’t restructure teams before building relationships

  • Don’t cancel programs before understanding why they exist

  • Don’t replace leaders before honoring their contribution

  • Don’t “fix” things until people trust you

Trust first. Change second.


Some Accounts Start in the Red

This part is hard but important.

There will be people who:

  • loved the previous leader

  • opposed the hire

  • fear what you represent

  • distrust change in general

You may start bankrupt with them.

No amount of deposits will fully restore the account.

That’s painful -but it’s not failure.

Your job isn’t to win everyone.Your job is to steward relationships wisely and not burn bridges unnecessarily.


How Long Does This Take?

Longer than you want.Shorter than you fear.

In my experience:

  • ~90 days builds basic trust

  • ~6 months builds leadership credibility

  • ~1 year builds permission to lead boldly

Anything faster usually costs you later.


Why This Matters More Than Strategy

You can have:

  • the best plan

  • the best ideas

  • the best theology

  • the best intentions

But without trust, every decision feels heavier than it should.

With trust, people follow you through change not just tolerate it.


Here’s the Encouragement You Need

If this feels slow… good.

That means you’re leading people, not projects.

And the leaders who last aren’t the ones who moved fastest.

They’re the ones who built trust deep enough to carry the weight.


What’s Coming Next

In the next post, we’ll shift gears and talk about something practical—and often overwhelming:

👉 Office Dynamics: How to Survive Church Systems Without Losing Your Soul (or Your Week).

If you’ve already felt the tension between ministry and meetings, this one’s for you.




 
 
 

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